Plan B

I want to be a mother
but not having a plan A resulted in plan B
and I am not ready but someday
I want my organs to shift
making room in my womb for miracles

the mourning of possibility
I awoke
tired, exhausted even
crusted eyes, achy knees
broken bones to ashes
this morning
I ended possibilty because I knew
I wasn't ready to be a mother
but an amazing one someday
hopefully, if God doesn't hold grudges.