Bi Polar Love Affair

This should have been a love poem,
but most days I despise you.
Hate the way you say my name
like our skin is carbon paper
imprinting futures promised
as your fingers traced forever on my spine,
but I could never quite read you.
Waited patiently for watercolors
to wash through wasted skies
in hopes we could hear God inhaling
together at window sill
waiting for the new dawn to begin.
I can't stand you.
Hate the way we made love like
somehow the good in me would transfer to you
this osmosis of hope would seep
into your battle wounds
finally making you whole again,
but instead I inherited this quake in my lungs
shaking under blackened skies
where we used to hold stars in our fingertips
when they'd fall.
You hated the way I wanted to be held,
but plead with me to squeeze tighter.
praying mantis love, baby trust me.
I'm not like the other guys, baby love me
I get this fire in my lungs sometims, baby save me.
broken open moon crystals
pressing hope into chests
stardust kisses and barebellied laughs
young love warm hearts curved hips
bent backwards to be beneath you
hollowed myself like honeydew
hot summer tongues
quenched in watermelon kisses
cracked open heart like pomegranate
I hate you...
I hate you..

Baby, never let me go.
Love me like meteorshowers in daylight
love me like frost bite in summer time
love me like lightening bugs at Christmas
You used to watch thunderstorms from your window
I say fuck that
go stand in the middle of one
get your face wet
feel the crash of the thunder in your ribcage
hold yur fingers to the sky
catch lightening on your tongue
get your soul wet
pray for sunsets
do anything
just so you feel it
feel alive for one breath
do anything
make a move
speak nonsense
tiger lily lip crushed silence
feel the static in your chest
are we done yet?
I can't stand you
want to scrape the skin from my bones
to be rid of you
make the stars mine
hold your palms out
plant forever in them
love me galaxies
I fucking hate you
Love me timeless
Love me grandfather clocks
love me tree trunks
just love me
Sunshine makes your skin crawl
keep the day out
shut the shades tight
lay in bed all day
just let me love you
let me save you
I called to check in on you
You said you didn't feel well
you were going to take a nap
something in my stomach sunk
a bowling ball of intuition
I didn't believe you
50 pills later
a stomach full of charcoal
almost successful at something
woke up day after regretting the air in your lungs
the heaviness in your chest
hating me for loving you so selflessly
I hold a hope that is audible,
do you hear it?
a pounding in my chest
love me lifeless
love me hopeful
love me anything
love yourself more
I hate you
just love me lifetimes