Kindegarten

When I was a kid entering kindergarten I refused to get on the school bus the first day of school. My morning began with my mother dragging me kicking and screaming into the principals office where she shut the door as she exited. I saw my mother's back for the first time I remember and I think since then I've had a real problem with people leaving me. Maybe it's true, it's all about what happens in your childhood that determines your personality and the decisions you make when you get older.
Sometimes I cry myself to swollen eyelids and heaving chests
because I know one day it will be just me,
alone with fingers intwined like knots on tree trunks
Sometimes I can really picture what it will be like
this portait behind glass of a life I once lived
And it's all about growing up and moving on
but my feet are tired now whitered as watercolors wash over
restless raindrops wiping away a vision
me 65 76 89 years old and alone because I once saw my mothers back turn
and I can't blame her she needed me to learn
and her back has been strong through the years
thick skinned like the bark nestling my tree trunk fingers