Waiting for this wanting to wander off
this needing has fallen in line like sheep to be counted
sleep deprived bound by bent elbows holding on
I have clasp closed fists around emptiness since bedtime
but I've been sleeping unable to dream for months now
and dreaming with no sleep somehow
doesn't count as a daydream
it's been manipulated into believing it's just a thought
so I've been thinking
I was born palms open to possibility of having something to clench
posable thumbs to mouth needing nourishment
sucking to be fed breath
now my arthritic fingers unable to close
there is this wanting of having something to hold on to
something worth shutting eye lids to make the days dreams
inhalations of angelic lungs
passed out in euphoria
letting the sheep run backwards away from crippling comas
but I haven't slept in days
and these nights terrors are empty hands
closed fists
unable to catch a dream